I've thought of a number of titles for this post and decided that giving it up up front was the way to go. After all, there's no reason to sugarcoat anything, we are happy with our decision.
So, yes, downsizing. I can't say that I never thought we would be here. Saying that would have been a lie. I have dreamt of quitting everything, moving to the south of France and living the life of leisure on a shoe string. I have dreamt of quitting Ottawa and moving to TO or NYC or someplace with more rhythm, a faster pace, a less suburban lifestyle. I have also gotten so sick and tired of cleaning this behemoth of a house you would not believe.
What I cannot tell you is when this dream has turned into a burning frustration. For both hubby and myself. For the longest time we have chalked it up to frustration of living in a reno zone. The conversations we used to have revolved around "when reno is done, ..." Now that it has been completed, we have not felt any better, only worse.
Don't get me wrong, we LOVE this house and we LOVE what we have turned this house into. I cannot count the number of times this house got badmouthed when we first bought it. And the difference is so tangible, so stark, so positive, we cannot NOT love the house. BUT we also realize that the house is what WE made it. And that every home we live in will have US in it. And will be special in its own little way. The decision to sell was much easier to make when it really trully sunk in that home is having all of us together, not walls.
What next? We don't quite know yet. We haven't bought our "next" property. We are still looking and thinking and learning. For now we will remain in the same area we're at right now, in a rental property. A place that will give us flexibility to look around and wait it out for the right thing to come along.
I have had this conversation with myself a million times. I"m not sure why. I'm not trying to convince myself. Hubby and I have talked this decision to death and back and we are confident with it. I guess I DO worry about what people will say. I do have that need to fit in and be understood, and this is a move that might not fall within those parameters. And I am a little scared of stepping outside the imaginary boundaries. That is what scares me, and that might be why this post is written a bit more defensively than I wanted it to be. I mean, I have only re-written it 10 times or so.
But what I do know is this: I'm documenting here not only renos and little snippets of our life, but also our relationship to the homes we live in and to home ownership itself. Maybe we are the pioneers, or idiots, or a bit of both. And while I may be scared a bit, I'm not scared enough to not take chances.
Especially when I have my partner in crime with me.
I can't wait to hear about your next steps!! I think you are really brave; I know too many people that haven't found their 'forever' home but are too afraid to take risks and try something new. Good luck!!
ReplyDeleteha ha :) thank you Ginger! It would be so much easier to just go on as is. But that would mean not being true to "us" and life is too short for NOT taking action.
DeleteI would rather regret doing something than NOT doing something :)
I applaud your decision. Good luck with the search.
ReplyDeleteThank you sweetie :)
DeleteHave you sold yet? Or are you listing soon? Nothing wrong in moving on.
ReplyDeleteCongrats by the way on the big news that you posted when I was on vacation!
Guilia, thank you (on the big news). We've just listed, I'll keep you guys posted on the sale process/timing.
Deletefollow your bliss Nataliya. our dream is to move to a teeny weeny home in the country and to life off what I make through my business and live our lives LIVING and raising our child(ren) together. home schooling, vegetable garden, and a creative and inspired life.
ReplyDeleteShabana, that's a beautiful dream. I find too many people are afraid to dream and are stuck in the "average", "you're expected to do a,b,c" mentality. If thing make you happy great, if they don't change them.
Deletewhen my mat leave ended I was offered a government job in HR. And I turned it down. everyone thought I was nuts, especially my in-laws. it's funny how strongly people feel about living life a certain way. i am very happy to report that choosing to raise Maya and do something I love has been nothing short of heavenly. life is good :) you have your loving husband by your side, so be inspired and life your life. and i'm so proud of you!
ReplyDeleteSo why are you selling the house if you love it and have done so much with it? Is it only the size? We are looking to downsize also, but don't have the courage because we feel we will not have enough space for everything.
ReplyDeleteAmy
Amy, we had originally bought the house because we thought we wouldn't have enough space in a townhouse. The thing is, we are minimalists. We don't have a lot of furniture, we don't have a lot of toys for the kid, we don't have a lot of stuff, period. The house is a "modest" 2000sq ft + basement. Four bedrooms, etc. We never use our finished beautiful basement, and while maybe at some point down the road (when the kid is older) she will use it, she can just as well use the living room or her own bedroom.
DeleteOn a personal level, I don't like separate spaces, I like one large multifunctional space. And this house doesn't give us that. You would not believe, but we NEVER use the "formal" living room unless ppl come over. But I"m still paying for it, and that eats at my sanity. No matter how pretty it is, if it's not used, it's bugging me.
We also didn't realize how much of our time it would take to keep the house clean. We like it clean and clutter free and that is a HUGE undertaking every couple of weeks. It also costs an arm and a leg to maintain everything, and don't get me started on taxes.
What I'm trying to say is, we do not use the space we're paying for and that makes me sad and angry.
We also would like to travel more, worry less about money, etc.
The thing is, this is a choice that we feel will work for us, but it might not be the right choice for everyone. It's more about priorities and the way you/we live than anything else.
I would suggest going through all your things first and seeing which ones you can live without, and begin "downsizing" from there. For example, in our kitchen, we don't have a microwave because we do not like using one. All we have are a kettle and coffee maker. Our toaster is also seldom used and lives in a drawer. And that is pretty much it for our small appliances. Same for pretty much everything else. And so a smaller space would suit us because we don't really have "stuff" that needs space. And we don't buy the line that kids need space. But that's a whole other topic.
Anyway, if you would like to chat you can write to me at nataliyakarpus at gmail dot com, I would be happy to talk more about this :)
Awesome response
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